THE WHIP AND THE BODY [1963]

Love takes a beating in Mario Bava’s THE WHIP AND THE BODY. Kurt, highly assertive and sadistic, has been banished from his family’s castle after whipping the servant’s daughter to near death. Upon hearing the news of his brother’s recent marriage, Kurt makes an abrupt, unannounced appearance to bestow congratulations. His presence is loathsome to all but Nevenka, his stunning ex-lover/brother’s new wife, who can’t resist Kurt’s enticing demeanor. Shortly after his arrival, Kurt is mysteriously murdered by the same dagger the servant’s daughter used to end her life once and for all. However, Kurt’s unyielding appetite for dominating is so voracious, not even death can keep him away from inflicting pain upon Nevenka. Nevenka is thrown onto a path of destruction as she fails in her attempt to fight masochistic cravings that lead her into a pit of despair and insanity. Meanwhile, Kurt’s brother and remaining family members band together to solve Kurt’s death.

THE WHIP AND THE BODY is an Italian gothic horror teeming with atmosphere and deep lust. Renowned Hammer Horror film actor Christopher Lee plays the role of the ruthlessly mesmerizing Kurt in a most haunting manner. Alongside him is the equally unforgettable Daliah Lavi as Nevenka, his confused, desperate, submissive paramour. Compared to modern-day horror, the violence between the two is mild, and their sex is more implied than displayed, but the intensity of feelings conceived by an electrifying romance between Nevenka and Kurt is plenty to maintain intrigue. Although releasing a film with such taboo subject matter in the early ‘60s created quite the uproar, it seems Bava aimed more to touch the black hearts of his audience rather than shock. Bava’s tenebrous yet dazzling cinematography combined with the hypnotizing score composed by Carlo Rustichelli produces a sensuous viewing experience unlike any I’ve undergone before. If you need a break from gore and hypersexuality, THE WHIP AND THE BODY will move you with ominous love.

Rating: 8/10

Director: Mario Bava [BLACK SUNDAY, BLACK SABBATH, A BAY OF BLOOD]

Cast: Christopher Lee, Daliah Lavi, and Tony Kendall
Country: Italy

WILD ZERO [1999]

Guitar distortion meets zombie bedlam in a Japanese love affair called WILD ZERO. Ace is a diehard rock ‘n’ roll junkie with a thirst for glory. One night, he attends a Guitar Wolf show with more on his “to do” list than throwing his fists in the air, head banging, and jumping around to his favorite band; Ace wants to introduce himself to the nightclub owner and prove himself as a performer. When Ace’s time to shine arrives, he finds the nightclub owner is already occupied with the members of Guitar Wolf. Through the door, Ace listens in on the confrontation ensuing and courageously bursts through to defend Guitar Wolf in the name of rock ‘n’ roll. Violences breaks out, but Guitar Wolf and Ace leave with their lives. Lead vox gifts Ace a mysterious whistle that will assist him in troubled times before vanishing. The following day, Ace disrupts a gas station robbery, revels in the company of Tobio, a beautiful bystander, and then rides off. Shortly after, Ace is greeted by zombies and learns the world is in a state of emergency due to a zombie uprising brought on by alien invasion. Ace teams with Tobio and Guitar Wolf to cease the unearthly carnage.

Zombie trash-heads rejoice for a wildly entertaining rock ‘n’ roll epic. I’ll go into this by saying that the only prior knowledge I had of Guitar Wolf was that they existed. Therefore, my opinion isn’t based solely on the band’s involvement. The band members’ parts as actors and musicians, though, positively magnify the excitability factor throughout. Zombie disarray and destruction is complimented immensely by a fantastic soundtrack, including other bands such as The Phantom Surfers, The Zeros, and Teengenerate. The characters (such as a kindhearted transsexual, a sleazy nightclub owner, and a tough, female arms dealer) all have unique, distinctive personalities that really help set WILD ZERO apart from other films in the zombie sub-genre; they’re obnoxious, out of their minds, and badass in their very own ways. The special effects are as absurd as they are awesome, with magical guitar picks, flying saucers, and laser beam eyes. Splattered brains, mutilated guts, and cleanly sliced fingers are just a few perks. While WILD ZERO feels much like a B-movie, it’s clear to see that writers Satoshi Takagi and Tetsuro Takeuchi invested plenty of heart into every element as proper tribute to classic zombie flicks and rock ‘n’ roll music. P.S. ROCK ‘N’ ROLL!

Rating: 10/10

Director: Tetsuro Takeuchi

Cast: Guitar Wolf, Masashi Endô, Kwancharu Shitichai
Country: Japan

MOTHER OF TEARS [2007]

During a construction dig in church grounds of the Italian countryside, a tomb with an attached urn from the early 1800s is discovered. The head priest steps in for closer inspection and reveals the findings belong to Mater Lachrymarum, a black witch. Since Mater Lachrymarum made up one-third of a powerful ancient evil group known as The Three Mothers, the priest is deeply disturbed by the event. He decides to send the urn to a museum directed by a trusted friend, Michael, who is also a scientist and an expert on magic. Before obtaining permission, Michael’s assistant cracks the urn open alongside Michael’s student/girlfriend, Sarah. Inside, the two women uncover three beautifully preserved mini statues, a medieval dagger, and a cloak with ancient writing painted on it. When Sarah leaves to retrieve a dictionary for deciphering, three demons appear to rip the assistant to shreds. When Sarah returns and sees the mess, she is forced out of the museum by a ravenous monkey and voices in her head. Soon the world rapidly transitions into a state of disorder with suicides, homicides, and demonic possessions. Research produces both questions and answers that lead Sarah on a supernatural path to cease the apocalyptic danger released from the urn.

MOTHER OF TEARS is a blood feast served hot by demonic forces, black magic, and illusion. I’ll be honest, having heard such severely divided reviews, I was both apprehensive and extremely curious about the movie. Once the film concluded, I realized I wasn’t prepared to take a stance; I felt as if I had woken up from a perplexing bad dream, and I needed time to register the overwhelming content. First of all, there are plenty of “jump-scares” to hasten your heartbeat and keep you on edge from the very beginning. The eruption of gore and savagery starts less than ten minutes in with an insanely brutal monster attack that’ll make your eyeballs pop out of your skull. Without a doubt, Argento has successfully delivered monumentally grotesque features throughout his career, and he ups the ante with this one. Violence is brought to life with the use of practical special effects and CGI. However, the CGI scenes are a little too unrealistic and off-putting. The story itself is unique, amplified with provocative religious illustrations and other wondrous imagery, but the plethora of otherworldly visuals can be a bit distracting. All in all, MOTHER OF TEARS is an artistic work that can be appreciated with a second viewing…if you have the patience and stomach for a double dose.

Rating: 6/10

Director: Dario Argento [SUSPIRIA, INFERNO, TENEBRAE]

Cast: Asia Argento, Adam James, Cristian Solimeno
Country: Italy|USA

SATURN 3 [1980]

A dreamland is transformed into a battle zone for superiority and sexual gratification in SATURN 3. Adam, Alex, and their dog Sally lead a utopian lifestyle on Saturn’s third moon. They work and play happily distanced from a congested planet and its often shuddersome occupants. The slight interference of Adam’s wonderment is the only issue; it’s apparent he worries that his younger comrade/lover will one day grow curious enough about Earth to leave him behind and delve into its offerings. Adam’s concern is intensified when Captain Benson invades their domain and becomes obsessed with stealing Alex away for his personal pleasure. Ultimately, Benson has arrived to build a replacement scientist, a robot soon called “Hector.” However, since Hector’s actions rely on Benson’s evil and primitive thoughts, Hector develops into an outlet for Benson’s frustration. The captain causes his creation to go on a murderous rampage, and Adam and Alex must destroy the man-made slaughterer before facing death in space.  

SATURN 3 is a science fiction thriller that will engulf you like a black hole. For starters, Elmer Bernstein’s futuristic score, filled with an array of sounds ranging from brass to xylophone, will positively catapult you into a completely new dimension. The gigantic space station in which the crew resides is steel-colored, but brightly illuminated with fluorescent white light and primary colors that establish a gorgeous, spellbinding backdrop. In contrast to the enchanting visuals is Hector, potentially one of the most fearsome killers in motion picture history (by my standards, at least). The villainous robot is faceless, erratic, and nearly unstoppable. Primal desire is the driving force behind the more emotional scenes in the film, which are surprisingly NOT boring. Although the love triangle concept may seem overdone, the drama is actually compelling due to the characters’ perfectly conveyed personalities. Fawcett, in particular, impresses as an intelligent, strong-willed contender. SATURN 3 implements a dynamic of cinematic layers for an out-of-this-world expedition.  

Rating: 10/10

Director: Stanley Donen

Cast: Farrah Fawcett, Kirk Douglas, Harvey Keitel
Country: UK

THE GATE [1987]

THE GATE is a terminal for the wicked to unleash Hell on suburbia. Two inquisitive adolescents, Glen and Terry, cannot resist the powerful urge to treasure hunt in the newly exposed hole in the backyard ground of Glen’s home. The excavation of a tree has provided a whole new world for the boys to explore, until Glen is ordered by his father to fill the void. Although Glen is disappointed, he and Terry at least have a prize to crack open from their dig: a crystalline rock. The same day of the tree’s removal, Glen’s parents discuss their three-day trip and the terms and conditions their kids must abide by, as they apprehensively decide to leave Glen in the supervision of his naive, sixteen-year-old sister, Al. The first night of their parentless vacation, Glen and Terry finally break the rock apart, which prompts a foreign message to appear on the notepad lying underneath it. After Glen and Terry read the script aloud, the evening takes a turn for the worse, and the two following days reveal evil demons, monsters, and zombies that have escaped from Hell through the passageway the boys accidentally created. Heavy metal guides them on their quest to conquer.

THE GATE tells the story of a fantastic horror adventure that you’ll undoubtedly want to pass along to future generations. You will be captivated from the very beginning with Glen’s distressing nightmare, a mere foreshadow of the grim days ahead. The mischief and nonsense leading up to the more frightful moments inject a lot of extra life into an already sensational plot-line. Glen’s snappy comebacks in back-and-forth combat with Al and her bratty, unsympathetic acquaintances are priceless, right along with Terry’s extensive air guitar performance. When the terror kicks in, the situation becomes not only insanely creepy, but tragically depressing. The demons deliberately terrorize Glen, Terry, and Al based upon their past experiences and fears; the beasts use the vulnerability of the innocent humans to dig deep into their minds and hearts for maximum impact, even producing manifestations of dead loved ones. The abundance of monsters take on all shapes, sizes, and numbers, ranging from a group of foot-tall devil babies to a single, four-eyed lizard creature the size of a house. Glen proves himself as an ultimate warrior using clever tactics to defeat the tourists from Hell in a legendary battle of good vs. evil.

Rating: 9/10
Director: Tibor Takács [NOSTRADAMUS, RATS, SPIDERS]

Cast: Stephen Dorff, Christa Denton, Louis Tripp
Country: Canada|USA

CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS [1972]

CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS without expecting fatal revenge. Alan, an abrasive director, leads his group of theatre friends to an island graveyard for an evening’s worth of morbid, satanic amusement. Alan guides a tour through the cemetery containing evil ex-criminals whose souls may or may not be resting in peace, while his skeptical companions make a mockery of him. Unfortunately, they have no other choice but to comply if they desire a place in Alan’s upcoming feature. Anya, Alan’s girlfriend with a few screws loose in her head, is the only one sincerely enthralled by the fascinating enigma of death and is eager to proceed with the night’s grisly festivities, including the summoning of a corpse. Alan’s plan to perform a seance comes to life when they extract Orville’s breathless body from the hole he had called home. Orville becomes the center of negative attention, getting used and abused like a child’s toy, until an army of corpses rise from their graves to punish Alan and his crew for disturbing their slumber. 

CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS stands alone as an eccentric zombie soiree with a colossal build-up and an even more massive detonation. As you would imagine, I’ve drowned in my fair share of cinematic deviance, but this one had my jaw dropped, my eyebrows raised, and my head shaking. Director Bob Clark (who went on to make holiday classic Black Christmas a short time later) filmed the flick in two weeks’ time on a budget of just $70K, and unmistakably so. The camera quality is reminiscent of home video, and the sets are nothing short of simple…but it works; both factors create an extreme sense of realness that is profoundly effective. The dialogue is unbelievably absurd as Alan takes a beating for his offbeat commandership and fights back. The gang’s lack of respect for the dead is as funny as it is disgraceful, especially with the unholy wedding ceremony eternally bonding man and cadaver. After a bit of dragging, the film concludes with violent screeching, endless groaning, and a revolting buffet for the walking dead.

Rating: 7/10
Director: Bob Clark [DEATHDREAM, BLACK CHRISTMAS]

Cast: Alan Ormsby, Anya Ormsby, Valerie Mamches
Country: USA

BLACK WATER [2007]

No crocodile tears are cried in BLACK WATER. A group of three are on a mission for kicks as they set out to travel the Australian landscape. While on holiday, Grace, Adam (her husband), and Lee (her younger sister) are going in any direction the road may lead. Their first stop? A crocodile farm. The following day, with visions of aquatic reptiles dancing in their heads, the trio plans to meet Blackwater Barry for a tour of the Mangrove Swamps. They look forward to a day’s worth of exploring wildlife and fishing. When they arrive at the marina, Blackwater Barry is unavailable, but a less-experienced guide offers to take them out on the water. The tour guide arms himself with a gun, and the gang is on their merry way. Not far into the expedition, an engulfing nervousness ensues when a paint can pops up and bangs against their boat. However, they quickly realize there is something much more frightening in the river to panic about: a massive crocodile with an equally-sized appetite. The crew must dodge or die in a battle against the voracious swamp thing.

BLACK WATER’s low budget is no reflection of the quality of the storyline or acting. Often times, the term “killer croc” can generate a mess of pre-conceived notions typically associated with B-horror movies, but this film proves it is meant to be taken seriously. The deeply emotional, psychologically taxing events that develop are all the more impactful with the words “based on true events.” The movie burns slowly, but the pace only adds to the realness of the horrifying situation. Not to mention, impressively enough, not a trace of CGI is used to animate the atrocious creature; an actual live crocodile was used in the making of the film! Grace, Adam, and Lee have an incredibly tight-knit, genuine relationship which completely amplifies the effects of their combined fear, paranoia, and heartache that never stops once it starts. As one family member breaks off to find a means of escape at a time, the crocodile’s unpredictable appearances transform the experience into a full-fledged nightmare. BLACK WATER delivers a tormenting adrenaline rush for those seeking an animal induced, edge-of-the-seat thriller. 

Rating: 8/10

Directors: David Nerlich, Andrew Traucki [THE REEF]

Cast: Diana Glenn, Andy Rodoreda, and Maeve Dermody
Country: Australia