CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS [1972]

CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS without expecting fatal revenge. Alan, an abrasive director, leads his group of theatre friends to an island graveyard for an evening’s worth of morbid, satanic amusement. Alan guides a tour through the cemetery containing evil ex-criminals whose souls may or may not be resting in peace, while his skeptical companions make a mockery of him. Unfortunately, they have no other choice but to comply if they desire a place in Alan’s upcoming feature. Anya, Alan’s girlfriend with a few screws loose in her head, is the only one sincerely enthralled by the fascinating enigma of death and is eager to proceed with the night’s grisly festivities, including the summoning of a corpse. Alan’s plan to perform a seance comes to life when they extract Orville’s breathless body from the hole he had called home. Orville becomes the center of negative attention, getting used and abused like a child’s toy, until an army of corpses rise from their graves to punish Alan and his crew for disturbing their slumber. 

CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS stands alone as an eccentric zombie soiree with a colossal build-up and an even more massive detonation. As you would imagine, I’ve drowned in my fair share of cinematic deviance, but this one had my jaw dropped, my eyebrows raised, and my head shaking. Director Bob Clark (who went on to make holiday classic Black Christmas a short time later) filmed the flick in two weeks’ time on a budget of just $70K, and unmistakably so. The camera quality is reminiscent of home video, and the sets are nothing short of simple…but it works; both factors create an extreme sense of realness that is profoundly effective. The dialogue is unbelievably absurd as Alan takes a beating for his offbeat commandership and fights back. The gang’s lack of respect for the dead is as funny as it is disgraceful, especially with the unholy wedding ceremony eternally bonding man and cadaver. After a bit of dragging, the film concludes with violent screeching, endless groaning, and a revolting buffet for the walking dead.

Rating: 7/10
Director: Bob Clark [DEATHDREAM, BLACK CHRISTMAS]

Cast: Alan Ormsby, Anya Ormsby, Valerie Mamches
Country: USA